Let’s not deny it anymore: if the apocalypse doesn’t kill us, the robots will. Or, before they do, they’ll take over the world and use us as our unwilling slaves. So, if you want to survive in a dystopian, robot-controlled society, here’s some advice:
1. Never let the robots know you’re onto them. This means you should NOT freak out at every beep you hear like SpongeBob and assume that robots are taking over the world.
2. Make whistling noises like R2-D2 while the robots are working so that they think they’re hitting the wrong buttons, you know, for laughs.
3. Robots generally can’t swim, so live on a boat and they’ll never be able to take you away without rusting like the Tin Man (unless Dorothy and Toto remembered to bring the oil can, the morons).
4. If you dress up like the Tin Man in order to spy on the robots by blending in, you’re only fooling yourself.
5. In this society, if you ask a stupid question, you won’t get a stupid answer, cause the robots will spend hours being confused by human stupidity.
6. Ask any robot to compute the exact value of pi and you get a few hours of freedom easy.
7. Force a couple of robots to watch WALL-E and maybe they’ll feel something for once.
8. Robots don’t believe in magic, so pointing a wand at them and telling them that you’re Dumbledore probably won’t get you anywhere. But that shouldn’t stop you from trying. ;)
9. If you’re daring, you could blow up some robots the way they did on the Enterprise and do all sorts of illogical things like making phaser noises at Scotty and “killing” him, confusing the robots. It won’t change the situation much ‘cause the robots outnumber us, but it would still be pretty funny.
10. Lastly, DON’T dance the robot. They take offense to that.
P.S. If any robots see this, you didn’t hear it from me. ;]
